Clairvoyant Connection

My mom spoke to a medium last week. The kind of person who says they can connect you with the other side. My sister had offered her a reading for her birthday and my very conservative mom took her up on the offer. It’s been more than three years since my brother Tom passed away and Mom wanted to see if there was any way whatsoever to communicate.

We’re not a kooky family. I swear. We are curious. Sometimes, in the midst of overwhelming sadness, certain members of my family, a-hem, have taken different measures than others have in order to find some peace with the fact that my brother is no longer here. Or, as a medium might say, moved on to the other side.

My brother Tom was a delightful person, full of energy for all things humorous and intriguing. He made life for the people surrounding him more enjoyable with his wit and charm. He told funny stories and connected with un-connectable people. He was truly awesome. 

We miss him. Profoundly.

Tom had melanoma. He was first diagnosed in 1999, and had a recurrence in 2006 that swept through his six foot two inch frame in weeks. Before we had any idea about what was truly happening, before we realized we were going to lose him forever, he was gone. 

It was terribly shocking. Being a tight knit family of ten (eight kids, mom and dad) and having never experienced death on such a personal level, we were all deeply affected and processed our mourning very differently.

Sorrow lingered often as I laid my head on my pillow and relived fond memories. At times, I was paralyzed with grief. But I had an eight-month old and a two-year old I had to parent. I had to keep moving forward, for them and for me, no matter how hard losing him was to understand.

I had passed by them over a thousand times; the waist-high, red newspaper kiosks holding The Learning Annex brochures that listed their upcoming classes.  Even with Donald Trump on the cover, promising to make me a millionaire, I never lifted the lid to sift through one. Until about six months after Tom died.

I picked one up while I waited in line at the bank and flipped past Trump and all the others who wanted to help me get rich and stopped when I saw “Live! Contact the Spirit World.” In this class, the medium was going to receive and deliver messages from lost loved ones. I silently wondered if my brother would be able to talk to me.

I secretly signed up for the class, feeling like a whackadoo. I had absolutely no expectations, but if my brother wanted to talk to me, I would be ready for it and grateful.  I got there a little early, and checked in, only giving my name. I didn’t want to give anything away. I wondered if she was going to walk in looking like Whoopi Goldberg in Ghost carrying a crystal ball. What was I doing? Everyone sat with their arms crossed. 

Our medium gave us her background, complete with a Ph.D. in comparative religion. She played some soft music, had us uncross our limbs, and began. She shot to the back of the room to a middle-aged woman and had a conversation with her, from her grandfather.  Wow! As I watched in a state of dumbfounded wonderment, she then landed right in front of me.

Please let this not be a hoax, I prayed. She told me that a man was there for me (stay with me now) and this man had cancer all over. It was everywhere. Oh, my God.  She said he was there to give me flowers, flowers for taking care of him and taking care of our family.  Then she continued on with more intimate details about Tom that she couldn’t have possibly known as I quietly sobbed, trying to cling on to every single word she was saying.

I have often seen my brother riding a beach cruiser around in my dreams.  Sometimes we have coffee and talk in a well-lit diner. She told me that he wanted to make sure I knew he was with me, and will continue to come to me in my dreams and with that, it was over.   Wait, I wanted to say, don’t go! I sat dumbfounded and dazed.  It was there, after my visit, and some processing, a new sense of peace washed over me. 

My mom wanted an experience like that.  She’s always looking for signs from my brother, something to tell her he’s okay and he’s still with her somehow. By accepting her date with a medium, she hoped her reading could help her with this longing, this yearning for her firstborn. And she went with an open mind, not judging what was to happen.

Her medium was visited by my Mom’s father, and…my big brother Tom. They spoke of many things, but most vividly was the message that my brother was trying to leave her messages through music.  Mom thought that odd, since she listens to National Public Radio in her car, but on the way home she switched to a local music station.

Right away, a song came on that my brother often played for his students, Stand by Me and Mom was joyous.  Then, the next morning, she popped in a disc of the Celtic Tenors for my Dad, and walked out of the room. When she walked back, Still by Your Side played. 

These are some of the lyrics:  “I am here in Heaven now, calling you to tell you how, from so high above those old mountains I love, I’m in Heaven but by your side.  Here in Heaven, but by your side…”  She’d never heard the song before. Mom is listening to music more often now.

It’s funny how despair can lead you down paths you’d never think of taking. Ours led to communicating with mediums who had the ability to lift some of our sadness. As kooky as it sounds, I know there can’t be anything wrong with that.